Women Are Strong

This week I had to go to the dentist to get a crown. Now, this particular cavity is in a tooth that has already been filled and thus I couldn’t just have a regular filling, I had to get a crown. This might give you an idea of what kind of teeth I have… TERRIBLE ones. I think every molar is filled (but to be honest I’ve lost count so I can’t be certain) and I’ve had my share of root canals for someone still in their twenties! AND I HATE DENTAL WORK!!! I mean I really, really hate it. The sound/taste/smell of someone drilling a hole in your mouth is just terrible! I thought it was the toughest thing in the world…

Until childbirth.

Having gone through 66 hours of labor eight months ago really put things in a different perspective.

We waited four years into marriage to have Ava and by the time she was on her way we were really ready. I was super excited at the prospect of being a mother and was just about as thankful as could be that we had been able to get pregnant without any complications like so many of our friends. By the time she was term, we were ready when she was. But she just wasn’t.

It all began with us finding out at 37 weeks that she (and we didn’t know she was a she at the time, but should have figured with the tough time she gave us!) was breech. (Perhaps it began before this really, with the four solid months of gut wrenching morning sickness. But I regress.) We opted to go in for a procedure in which they pushed (really, really hard!) on my stomach and flipped her head down. And it worked… on the second try.

Then came labor day. Or should I say the THREE DAYS OF LABOR. I started to have regular contractions Tuesday evening around 6:00 and they stayed irregularly timed - but no longer than 20 minutes apart - until Friday morning at 11:27 when she finally arrived. My husband and I had done everything we could to prepare to have a “natural birth” (read: no epidural); but alas after 58 hours and at 8 ½ centimeters, I called uncle (or should I say the anesthesiologist).

However, reflecting on our birth story, I wouldn’t have changed a thing. Working through contraction after contraction with my husband, who never left my side, was an amazing experience and one that brought us to know each other more intimately. While I wanted to forgo pain medication, I now know (personally) the beauty of modern medicine. Our story was right for us, and in the end, we had all that really mattered: a healthy, beautiful baby girl (with lots of hair to boot!) :)

Many of you have similar (or dissimilar) stories, but one common thread runs through them all: you carried and nurtured a life for 40 long weeks and then, amazingly, delivered (whether it be via a whole in your stomach or by stretching down there to 10 centimeters!) a living, breathing human being about the size of a melon! I’m no feminist, but I really, really don’t think that any guys would be up for that!

I’ll end with a quote by Laura Stavoe Harm, which I read over many times in a Lamaze book about this time last year:

We have a secret in our culture, and it’s not that birth is painful. It’s that women are strong.

Now I’m off to the dentist… piece of cake…

First Christmas

Brett's first Christmas is quickly approaching. I told myself early on that I wouldn't go overboard with Christmas this year because, even though she is 11 months old now (I know, I can hardly believe it myself), she won't really know what is going on. I know she will like the wrapping paper more than the gifts so my husband and I said we would get her one Santa gift and one gift from each of us. Plus, stocking stuffers.

So, that was the plan going into the season. Her stocking is now well-stuffed with bubbles, teething toys and music instruments from Gymboree, as well as a couple books and bath toys. Her Santa gift was purchased. Then I bought her a couple more books, then a blanket, and an outfit, and another toy, and another one. Someone make me stop! So, now she has a little under a dozen things to open and that doesn't include anything that my husband may have purchased but hasn't wrapped yet. Don't forget that these are just the gifts at our house and don't include the gifts from either set of grandparents or great-grandparents or aunts and uncles. So much for a small Christmas.

Then, there are the ornaments. I have three, yes three, Baby's First Christmas ornaments. This is not because three people bought them for me and gave them as gifts. No. I purchased all three on my own. Why? Well, they are all so different. The first one I bought was a mommy and daddy snowman and the mommy is holding a baby snowman. Then I bought the snow bunny that has all of Brett's birth information. Last, I bought a straight Baby's 1st Christmas ornament.

This holiday truly has been more fun with a baby around. It is so fun to see her look at the lights, the tree, the decorations, the packages! We have enjoyed outdoor events and even a trip to the merriest place on earth, Disneyland! It has been such a great season and we haven't even gotten to Christmas Day yet! It just goes to show that Christmas is so much more than the gifts, it truly is the spirit of the entire season!

Decorating for Xmas Leads to My Last Margarita

Last week, we pulled out our Xmas decorations and starting hanging our stockings that were given to us as a gift last year – 4 of them (a very presumptuous gift lol). Two were embroidered with my name and my husband’s name and two were blank. I took my daughter’s stocking to get embroidered and hung it right alongside ours. And I put the last blank one back in the box (reluctantly). Even though #2 isn’t here yet, I wanted to hang his/her stocking as a symbol of memories to come. Of course this prompted the discussion of starting for #2. I really can’t believe “#2” is even in my vocabulary seeing how much I struggled with #1! I clearly have a case of pregnancy/childbirth/newborn amnesia. You know, remember the good and forget the hard. I do have one vivid recollection of me doing lunges down my hallway, trying to get Reagan to sleep as a newborn- I would be sweating when she was finally asleep, only to have to do this same thing 2 hours later. The words, “I’m NEVER doing this AGAIN” stuck clearly in mind.

Over the last 9 months, I’ve been adjusting to my life as mom. I had a really hard time letting go of my life and my freedom. I used to live by lists, structure and scheduling and when I found that I couldn’t get to the gym, couldn’t get my housework done, couldn’t get my errands done and couldn’t get sleep I found myself getting so frustrated. I went stir crazy and just wanted to feel accomplished again. It was a big change for me to go from being on the go all the time to being confined to my house and worse to my couch! But as time went on, things got easier and we became more mobile. And as I look back at my “to-do lists”, I realize everything got done- maybe not in the timeframe I would have normally completed them, but everything got done. And all that frustration seems silly to me now. I learned, you get through it- you get through all of it. #I for me was about letting go and finding a new method to the madness. I learned to eat one handed, do house work in the middle of the night, to eat top ramen if I can’t get to the grocery store and to hope for 10 minute phone conversations with my friends- but to be happy with 5 mins.

Fast forward 10-12 months from now (if everything goes as planned), #2 will be about living in and loving the chaos! Because that’s exactly what it’s going to be! Two kids under the age of two, two kids in diapers, two different nap schedules, a stroller with two seats, and HOPEFULLY only one who is waking through the night (OMG- that scares me!). I saw a lady with two kids- one 7 years and one 7 months. I asked her how it was with two and she sighed, “Honestly”, she said, “I feel like I’ve been run over by a train every day”. And her kids were 6 years apart! Managing two little ones will certainly be a challenge- to say the least and I’m sure I will have a few choice words available for anyone who asks me how it is with two. I know I really won’t be able to eat (maybe in the middle of the night), to-do lists will be totally out the window, and conversations with friends will have to be at 3:00am. But just like with #1, the dust will settle and I will look back with priceless memories of my family. And 10 years from now we will hardly remember the chaotic life we lived for a few years. And hopefully my kids will enjoy being close in age.

Well, excuse me for cutting this short- I’m off to enjoy my last margarita for the next year. Oh how I will miss them! And one more thing- I, of course, will feel blessed with just a healthy baby, but if I can make one request to the stork assigned to our family--- PLLLEEASSEEE send me an easy baby! I don’t know if I can do colic again!

A Tramatizing Weekend

Last weekend was a rough couple days for my poor baby...

Saturday evening was my husband's work Christmas party, so James stayed with my brother-in-law (BIL) & sister-in-law (SIL) for the evening. My husband and I enjoyed our time at the party but around 10pm I hadn't heard anything so I texted my BIL to see if bedtime had gone ok. Apparently it hadn't. Playtime had been great, bathtime was just fine, and James took his bottle with no problems, but wouldn't go to sleep. So we got our stuff together and headed out to go pick up James.

Of course while we were on the way James fell asleep and stayed asleep. Apparently while he was drinking his bottle he kept looking up at my BIL, almost as if he was wondering what was going on. When he finished his bottle & my BIL was rocking him or walking around the house, he would drift off to sleep for a couple minutes, but then wake up & look at my BIL and start crying all over again. My SIL was nursing their baby, so when he was done eating she came out and took James and was able to get him to go to sleep and stay asleep. We figured since James was so used to me putting him to bed and having not seen his uncle very often, he was able to relax better with my SIL instead.

So we got James into his carseat and took him home. He was sound asleep, & stayed asleep when I took him out of the carseat and put him into his crib. He didn't even wake up to nurse (I was surprised)! Usually we would turn the baby monitor on, but I had accidentally left the charging cable for it at my husband's parent's house when we were visiting for Thanksgiving, & the battery was dead. So for a couple nights we were using our nephew's Christmas present...a set of walkie talkies that has a "voice on command" feature. We had used it for a couple nights and it had been fine. We set it to the right channels & briefly tested it, then went to bed.

My husband & I both woke up around 5:30am. James usually wakes up at some point in the middle of the night and ends up in bed with us, so it was a nice surprise to see that he had slept through the night. My husband asked if James was in bed with us and I said no, he's still asleep, & my husband asked me to go check on him just to make sure he was ok. So I did...& when I opened the door to James' room I heard him whimpering! I've never heard him cry like that before. He was turned around 180 degrees in his crib, facing the door, pulling down on the bumper, & whimpering! When I picked him up he buried his face on my shoulder & shook his head back & forth...his sign for hungry but this was more drastic than usual. I took him back to my bedroom & discovered the walkie talkie on my nightstand wasn't on!!!!!

I felt SOOOO horrible! How long had he been awake, crying & wondering where his mommy & daddy were, & we were just sleeping away in our bed?!? He definitely had been awake for awhile, I just have no idea how long. It's not unusual for him to wake up as early as 1:30 or 2:00am...had he been awake for 3 or 4 hours waiting for us to come get him? I don't even want to think about that. It's been a week and I still get so sad thinking about it. It turns out the battery on the walkie talkie had died in the night & I didn't realize it. Fortunately we have the charging cable for the baby monitor back now, so we don't have to use the walkie talkie anymore. I plug the monitor in every night now, I don't want to take the chance that the battery will die overnight & my baby will be all alone again! I don't ever want to hear him whimper like that again. It was so so sad...

Fortunately, after cuddling in bed and nursing and sleeping for a bit, he seemed fine after he woke up. We went to church & he had no problem staying in the nursery & playing. I'm so glad he seems to have a short memory!

Changes and Routines

As Brett is approaching her one-year birthday I can't believe how things have changed. She is independent, but not. Can walk, but doesn't. Should still be eating baby food but prefers people food.

She took 9 steps last weekend between my husband and I. We were both so thrilled but also a little sad- how quickly time truly does go by! Now, she has to be 'walked' everywhere with me holding her hands. This has led to me getting even less done than before because both of my hands are occupied. It is quite fun though. She likes to try to run and when she does she smiles and does a high-pitched shriek!

She may also be going through a growth spurt right now because she is sleeping SO much. I feel like I am going to jinx it now that I am typing it out, but for the last 4 nights she has slept 12 hours! Then, after she is awake for 3 hours she goes down for a morning nap that has lasted between 1-2 hours. It is so nice to be able to get things done. I actually baked cookies two days ago (they were terrible, but still, I baked them)! I can only hope that this lasts! It is strange, but wonderful, to actually have a routine. Her nighttime routine remains the same. She is still in the bath by 6:30 and sleeping by 7pm.

I am having so much fun as Brett enters this stage of movement and communication. She started signing 'all done' to us last week! She also waves bye-bye (sometimes at inappropriate times). Yesterday, she held her toy phone to her head as if she was talking to it. I can hardly believe how quickly she is changing and learning.

Almost One- Can't belive it!

Last night Madison woke up at 10:30. Mike went back in to turn her music back on and she looked up at him and started to cry when he left the room. So I went in and rocked her. I knew she wanted non other than milk from me. So I laid her in bed with me and nursed her. We never put her in bed with us anymore. So it was a treat for me and for her! Mike was not thrilled but oh well! As she laid there and nursed I could not believe how much room in the bed she was taking up! I remember laying in bed and nursing her when she was a tiny thing and she barely took up any room. Now there was definitely not enough room for the three of us in a queen sized bed1 So I laid her back in her bed and just stared! Where has time gone? My baby girl is 10 months old! My time as her being my little cuddle bug is ending! Soon she will be walking and talking and telling me no and not want to cuddle with me! People are not kidding when they say they are not little long. Time sure has flown by! She was so helpless for so long and needed me for everything! Now she wants to feed herself, she wants to walk and be a big kid when she plays with her cousins! In two months she will be one and will be a toddler. I am having the hardest time excepting that! She is growing up so fast. Only 17 more years and she is going off to college. It will be here before we know it and it makes me so sad! But I guess it makes me treasure every moment I have with her! When she wants my attention and I am sitting at the computer. I need to play with her cause she won't be little long!

Socks

Since it is now finally cold enough I have been making sure Madie has socks on! We now have this game going. I put her in the car seat in the car, and start driving a few minutes later i hear this grunting. It is Madie pulling off her socks! She pulls them off, and just throws them somewhere in the car. She'll toss them to the side, she tosses them into the trunk. Lately, she has been sticking them in her mouth as well. It's like her little game. The one thing she has control over. Well, sort of since when we stop I always put them back on her! Yesterday, I gave up. I had taken them off and on so many times. I just gave up. She was getting her picture taken with Santa and the lady asked me if she has socks! Of course they were in the diaper bag! So I put them on for the picture and while she was put back in her stroller for the walk back to the car she took them off and chucked them out of the stroller. My husband fortunately found them. She has lost socks in parking lots, Target, Walmart. I have tried all kinds of socks. None work. Ironically enough, Mike always reminds me I would wear flip flops year round if the weather would permit. I guess lie mother like daughter!

The parent I am is different from the parent I thought I would be

The parent I am is different from the parent I thought I would be, is this normal?
When I was pregnant I began developing the idea of how I would raise my child, well I already had an idea so really I began perfecting and fine tuning my parenting style. I’d imagine how I would behave, set up, or solve problems for my baby, like starting solids or sleeping arrangements. I thought that I would co-sleep with Cameron for at least a year; I even got my husband on board. Then, I was presented with the situation and Cameron didn’t like it! So we compromised and he slept in his crib in our room. But now here I am again presented with a situation of wanting Cameron to sleep through the night, and having him in our room is a hindrance to that. (Can you believe that I actually thought that Cameron would just magically learn to sleep through the night on his own? Why you ask? Because when I was pregnant I imagined it so! How foolish was I.) So any way, what did I do, I gave Cameron his own room. It turns out it was a great move for the whole family. My husband and I are happier with the return of OUR bedroom where we don’t have to whisper or tiptoe around the room, and I like that Cameron has his own space to grow into. I am really surprised how happy I was to get Cameron into his own room.

But now here I am thinking of all the ways I wanted to do things and it’s so different from the perfect little family image I had imagined from before he was born. I realize I can’t plan how I want our family to grow and behave and we will just grow together and figure it out as we go. We are still a perfect little family; just my parenting image will need to adjust as the situation presents its self.

Puddles on the Floor

I remember how hard it was to take a shower with a newborn. Minutes after I set my daughter in her bouncy seat, she would scream hysterically. So I would frantically jump in the shower- there was no time to wait for the hot water to kick in. I’d lather up fast, most of the time skipping the hair wash- all while trying to sing every nursery rhyme I knew to try to calm her down. I would even shower with the door open so she could see me (which rarely made a difference). This always led to puddles on the floor as water sprouted in all directions. I’d turn the water off and jump out of the shower wet (adding to the puddles) and grab Reagan to calm her down- and of course Reagan would get soaking wet since I was soaking wet—ah what a disaster! 4, 5, 6 months go by and showers are my best friend! Reagan would sit in her play set- very content while I casually showered. I was confident she couldn’t get anywhere fast and I was able to ensure she couldn’t get into trouble during those 15 minutes. The days of short showers were history for us—or so I thought.
Fast forward to crawling!!!!!!!! OMG- I feel like we are back to the newborn stage! My shower this morning went something like this. I set Reagan in her play set (as usual) and did my area glance to ensure she could not get herself into trouble. 1 minute into my shower, Reagan was across the room, determined to grab the electrical cords (of course she goes for the electrical cords- since, of course, I procrastinated on baby proofing). I jumped out of the shower- soap and shampoo everywhere! Puddles of water follow me as I reposition her in back in her play set. Back in the shower I go and back to the electrical cords she goes. AHHH! I jump out again (one leg shaved) - more puddles in the bathroom. We went through this a few times until I gave up and decided to just rinse off and try to shave my legs another time. Just as I finish rinsing off, Reagan crawled into the puddles in the bathroom and laid flat into to the water (laughing hysterically—I guess that’s better than crying hysterically). We were both soaking wet, AGAIN. This all was way too familiar!!!

The Return on Aunt Flow

Well, after 38 weeks of pregnancy and and 10 months of breastfeeding my period has returned! Let me say that I DID NOT miss it one bit! Wow, what a shock it was to start getting cramps and then have to deal with the period for four days. I stopped breastfeeding 2 weeks ago, so I hear that this is about the right timeframe to have your period return.

I guess these are the only few days where my breasts are mine. Funny, I know, but think about it. During most of my pregnancy my breasts were growing, and often times sore. After the birth of my daughter, my breasts were there for one purpose and one purpose only- to nourish my daughter. Now, my husband is expecting them to be 'his' again, but for now, they are still mine...

Thank you!

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I’d like to express how thankful I am to have joined such a wonderful group of women/moms and a huge thanks to Holly for starting this group and managing a social calendar for 100+ people. When I first joined, I was really nervous. I consider myself an introvert and meeting new people isn’t always the most comfortable thing for me. But I really wanted to give my daughter the best childhood I could. And that involved developing friendships and social skills early in her development.
I never imagined that, out of this group, I would also develop some wonderful friendships of my own. My husband has met a few of my friends in the group and their husbands and, every time, he comments on what a wonderful group of friends both Reagan and I have. And even better, he gets along great with many of the dads.
When Reagan was born, Brad and I were worried that we did not have friends with kids. Knowing we may grow apart from some friends because our lives were going to change so much, we realized it was important that we venture out into the “family world”. Holly, you have given us the platform to meet such wonderful families and I can’t thank you enough for that. I know you started this group to meet friends yourself, but in doing that, you’ve allowed 100 other mom’s to make their own friendships. That is seriously such a wonderful, priceless gift- and a lifetime gift I might add.
It’s my hope that our friendships continue through the years as our kids grow. Having friends to share experiences with, joys with, heartbreaks with etc., is priceless. For those of you I have gotten to know well, thank you for being such a wonderful part of Reagan’s first year in this world and my first year as a mom (some of you have saved me a few times ..lol). For those I haven’t had a chance to meet or get to know yet- I’m very much looking forward to it.

Growing Up

It seems so crazy that Brett will be 10 months old on Sunday. Time flies. I realized a couple of things this week. It is interesting that each phase that the baby goes through seems so amazing, yet then it is (sometimes) trumped by the next phase. There are so many good and bads with each phase.

For example, my husband and I were ready to move Brett out of the co-sleeper (and our bed) and into her crib. Believe it or not, she's been sleeping in her crib since the night of her 2-month birthday! It was nice to have the bed back and I was able to sleep so much better without hearing every breath that she took. So, when Brett got sick this week while my husband was out of town, and she woke up in the middle of the night (something she rarely does) I brought her in to bed with me to sleep. It was so awesome having her in bed with me- snuggling next to me! I wanted her to sleep with me the next night but knew I had to put her in her crib. I've let her take her morning nap in my bed the last two mornings. It's been quite cold (for California) and I climbed back in bed to snuggle with her as she napped.

I know that I've talked about her tantrums (and other moms have talked about their baby's tantrums) so that is definitely a downfall of the current age, but there are some really cool things, too. It was awesome to see a couple weeks ago that Brett started clapping her hands. Then, it got better when she clapped her hands when we sing "If you're happy and you know it!" Awesome! Today I taught her the stomp your feet part, and she got it! Another thing, I have been trying to teach her that when she gets to a stair (we only have two in our house) that she needs to turn herself around and back down it. Today she did it! I was so proud. I was clapping and kissing her and I told her to give me a high-five and she did! It was awesome!

This is sappy, but as I went to brush my teeth tonight I saw that her little toothbrush was sitting next to mine. She has two teeth that are only about 1/4 of the way in but I brush her teeth in the morning after I brush mine. I just thought to myself that she is going to be a little girl before I know it!

It's actually been, in a way, a good thing that she got sick this week. I stayed home for two days (something I never do) and that gave me the opportunity to play with her more one-on-one and read and interact. I really appreciated the past couple of days and I am really enjoying this phase of her life. I feel so blessed to be able to stay home with her and have these experiences!

What an experience!

So today Madison and I decided to do grocery shopping for this weekend and for Thanksgiving! Knowing how crazy things are going to be this weekend, we thought we would do it early. Usually, we go with Mike, but he was still at work. So I figured how hard could it be. To do this by myself. She was napped, fed and nine months old! Well, I always put my high chair cover thing in the shopping cart, and with Madison's round stomach the straps to hold her in would not fit. So I left her unstrapped. We get in and set out for our first mission a turkey. We find the turkey and continue on with our list. Madison at this age is so curious. She does not just want to sit in the cart she wants to turn around and look and she what is going in the cart, and what is going on behind us! I am a big coupons shopper and the whole time Madison is trying to shred my coupons and my list. i keep telling her, " No, mommy needs to shop with the list!" Anyways, we make it through the market! I hand the lady my rewards card, and then that was the last time I remembered seeing my keys! I always carry my purse, but lately it is just one more thing to take down the stairs. So I have been putting it all in the diaper bag. So I have the diaper bag, 4 bags of groceries and a turkey in my cart. Suddenly, I realize I don't have my keys. I got back and ask the lady who checked me out if I had left them there. No. Okay I figure they must be in my cart. So I get outside to my car and start searching the cart. Not in the cart, I scour the diaper bag. Not in there. Look in all of my bags. Nope. By this time I am panicking. What happened to my keys1 My poor daughter at this point is still in the cart smiling at strangers as they passed by. Probably thinking please take me home my mom is loony! Two complete strangers came up to me and asked me what was wrong. I now feel like a complete moron! Who looses there keys? Finally, call Mike. I need help here! At the very least he can take Madie home and I can go and retrace my steps. So he comes to the rescue, and goes inside the damn grocery store and appears tow minutes later holding my keys! Where they were I don't know! He said some lady was holding them? I hope to God she was bringing them to me! But I will never know! So form now on I am bringing my purse. I don't seem to function well with out it!

Frazzled?!

I've been telling people lately that I've been frazzled. Everyone responds, "You mean you can't live up to your perfect standards?" I then ask them to look around --home, office, car-- and I say, "Do you think I'm aiming for perfection here?" Now I have a stellar example to demonstrate my current state of mind.

Before Shreyas was born, I committed to present at a Higher Education conference in Vancouver in November. We knew he'd be around 5 months so we decided to make it a family trip. We got his passport in the summer, researched flights, booked the hotel. Then we promptly forgot everything. All we knew was that we were leaving very early Thursday morning.

Fast forward to last Wednesday. I'm going into work and I have to 1) call the hotel to request a crib, and 2) check in for our flight since it's within 24 hours. I take care of #1. But I can't seem to find our flight. I check my personal email, my work email, our joint email: nothing. I find an email I sent to a friend Sept 23 saying, "Just bought our tix. See you in Vancouver!" I text my husband. He says we're flying Alaska. I text him again, saying it must be in his email. I go to Alaska's website. I don't have a confirmation number, but you can look up your flight by credit card; I try all three of my credit cards and nothing comes up. I am sure that my husband purchased the flights so I text him again, asking him to try his card online and see if it works. I then call Alaska and am on hold...forever...It's 6pm, time to teach, so I hang up and go. Our flight is only 12 hours away.

I'm driving home and my husband calls with the news: there is no record of our flight. We never purchased a flight! I get home, we discuss, he's found a new flight that's better (nonstop!) and worse (from LAX) but will get me there in time. Miraculously, it's about the same price as our original flight. We book it --for sure this time-- and finally get to bed around midnight.

No, the story is not even close to over.

I wake up before the alarm and prod my hubby awake, saying it's 5:57 and we might as well get up. I walk to the shower, turn it on, my husband's out of bed, looking at the clock. It's 4:58. Oops. I turn off the shower. We get back into bed. He asks, "Should we just get up and go now?" I answer, "What are we going to do there for an extra hour?" We talk. We can't sleep. It's 5:30 so we get up anyway. We had planned to leave by 6:30. Of course we leave late. It takes us an hour to get there. I am stressed the whole way because I need to make this flight. My husband is calm. He says it's no problem. I suggest parking at the airport instead of long term parking. My husband insists we are OK with time -he's already checked in, we just have to drop our bags. We finally get to the counter at 8:15 for our 9am flight. The lady at the counter coos at our baby. She's relaxed. We are calming down. We ask if we are OK with time and she realizes we are there for the 9am flight. Only then, when she tells us, do we realize: We are flying internationally.

Yes, we knew this. Of course we did! We got a passport for the baby! But now our bags cannot make the flight and we can't fly without our bags (FAA regulations!). The next flight gets in at 4pm but my presentation, the whole reason we're going on this trip, is at 1pm. My husband suggests I go ahead, without him, bags, or baby and he'll bring it all with him on the next flight. We realize he has no milk for the baby. He says he can drive back to Irvine, pick up some milk, make it back in time for the flight and meet me in Vancouver. We have a quick decision to make. So what do I do? I say, "I'll take the baby." How will I do my presentation? Who knows. But if I'm going to Canada, my baby's coming with me.

I'm not sure at this point if I'll even make the flight. Security won't let me up the escalators with the stroller. They say to take the elevators. The elevators only go down. Turns out I can go downstairs and check in with the stroller. I am running through the airport, pushing a stroller. The baby is laughing. He thinks it's a game. I'm thrilled because at least then I can laugh back so people around us don't think I'm a crazy mom running through the airport with my baby in his stroller about to miss my flight; they think I'm a caring fun mom who likes to play games with my baby, even in the airport. When we get to the gate they are paging us. We get on the flight. I text my husband that we made it. He reminds me that I have ONE friend attending this conference --maybe she can watch the baby? I text her a plea for help. And they close the gates.

Yes, baby and I made it to Canada just fine. Yes, my friend watched the baby for me. Yes, my husband and the bags made it on the next flight and we had a wonderful weekend in Vancouver. But there was lots more hilarity on the way. For example, I was wearing my coat because I knew it would be freezing when we landed, but the baby's warm clothes were all in his suitcase; when I realized his clothes were wet and he had to be changed out of PJs, I dressed him in the emergency clothes in his baby bag and put my fleece around him like a blanket. I had his warm hat with me so he was wearing: a short-sleeved onesie, pants, a bib, and a snow hat.

Yes, everything turned out ok. I thought about crying. But all I could do was laugh. This is my life.

Shower

I showered with Ava tonight. I used to do this a lot – well, actually all the time – when she was younger. She hated that crummy infant tub that got set up all alone on the counter and much preferred a little skin to skin contact in a warm shower with Mom or Dad. So that’s just what we did for about four months. However, with the acquisition of the skill of sitting, Ava has very much enjoyed a bubble bath complete with toys, splashing and laughing for the last month and a half. Yet, tonight we were running late on our already slightly late bed time of 8:30 to 9:00, so I decided just to jump in with her to make it quick. Which brings me to my point…

I COULDN’T BELIEVE HOW BIG SHE’D GOTTEN!! I mean really, I think she’s sprouted up in the last two months right before my eyes and I didn’t even realize it. She’s so long that when I hold her against me her head is well above my shoulders and her feel hit the top of my thighs! She looks like a little girl, not a baby.

So, I stood snuggling with my precious daughter and thinking that being a Mom really is the best. I can’t imagine ANYTHING more rewarding - albeit challenging - than spending everyday watching your own flesh and blood, the product of all the love you have with your husband, grow and learn and flourish. I’ll admit, though, that I have a hard time with the “grow” part. I keep wishing I could keep Ava little forever. I LOVED her newborn stage, when all she needed was to snuggle and nurse, and all I had to do was get to know her. Don’t get me wrong, I’m excited for all the new stages, and things now are really fun. Seeing her laughing and knowing her name and reaching up for me and starting to crawl all over me… it’s the best. But there’s something bittersweet about all the growing because eventually she’ll grow away; grow into kindergarten and then middle school and then high school and then college (Ivy League, I’m sure J) and then off into a family of her own. It’s going to go so fast!

I think I’ve found the answer for all you Moms that might share my sentiments: JUST KEEP HAVING KIDS! (Laugh, laugh, smile, smile!) It did occur to me tonight, though, that I’m not sure if I’d ever be “done” having kids. I’m SURE my husband will be (I’ve got him firmly talked into three, but four is going to need some serous convincing!), but for me, I think that I’ll just never get enough.

Disney

It is no secret that I am a huge fan of everything Disney. My husband and I have annual passes and we love to go a few times each year. I don't have a ton of Disney paraphernalia but there are a few shirts, sweatshirts and trinkets around the house.

Brett's room is decorated in Winnie the Pooh. I have continued to look for Disney clothing for babies but it hardly exists. There is a new line of baby stuff that they are carrying at some of the Disney Store's but there is only Bambi items. Bambi is cute, but where is the Princess stuff? So, I bought a Bambi/Thumper blanket and pajamas for Brett and have been waiting patiently to purchase her some sort of Disney outfit.

I also bought her a Minnie Mouse Christmas outfit to wear on her first trip to Disneyland (scheduled for 12/18). Still, it wasn't exactly what I was looking for.

I am so happy to say that, being that she is almost in 12 month clothing, I purchased her first Disney shirt! It is pink and has the four princesses on it! I am so excited for her to wear it!

Well, that is all, I was just super excited about my purchase and wanted to share my excitement...

Steamroller into another stall

Today while we were out to lunch in San Juan Capistrano, at one of our favorite restaurant Sarducci's, Madison decided to take care of a little business! So I went to the restroom to change her, and I discovered there was no changing table. On a side note, I fully believe that every restaurant that has high chairs should have a changing table. Anyways, I was on my hands and knee's changing a yucky poopy diaper. As always in this lovely stage of 9 months, Madison is always on the roll. She does not stay put while I change her diaper. Today I was wrapping things up. I had changed her and was zipping up the diaper bag. In less than 5 seconds flat Madison rolled out of our stall and into the stall of the person next to me. Who was taking care of their business! I was humiliated. Madison being who she is looked up and smiled! Thank God the person just laughed, and I reached under and got her. But still. Changing tables are a necessity!

Baby Overboard!

Well, I wasn't going to post this but after sharing the story with a few moms, and realizing how often it happens, I figured I would go ahead and tell another story about poor-parenting skills. =)

Remember when your baby was first born (and for the first few months) you could put her down on the bed and walk away? You might lay her there and use the restroom. Or, you might lay her there and put clothes away. Whatever it was, you are confident that they baby would be exactly where you left her when you get back. You may even let her sleep on the bed long enough to shower.

Then, after a month or so, your baby starts scooting. I'm not really sure how they do it, but they scoot themselves around (very slowly) without purpose. So, if you lay your baby on the bed you put her in the middle and surround her with pillows, use the restroom, and come back. Again, the baby is pretty much where you left her. So, you can probably take a shower with the baby sleeping on the bed and be safe.

Around four months or so your baby learns to roll over and suddenly you have to be much more careful. If you leave your baby on the bed it will be for a much shorter period of time. If she is sleeping, there isn't major rolling going on so you may be safe to leave her on the bed for the amount of time it takes to run to the bathroom and pee.

So, around 7 months your baby starts crawling. Leaving the baby on the bed alone is really a no-no. If she is sleeping you may be able to walk away momentarily, but leaving the room is out of the question. That brings me to my story...

My husband travels quite a bit for business. One night, a few weeks ago, my husband was gone and Brett woke in the middle of the night. It was almost 1am. This is actually pretty rare these days so I was super tired. I had to pee but I went and picked her up because I figured I would just sway/rock her to sleep. She was crying, crying, crying. I held her and swayed/rocked her in her room. I rocked her in the rocking chair. I tried everything. She wouldn't go back to sleep and she was really unhappy. I brought her into bed with me. I nursed her. She was definitely teething and would be half-asleep but would thrash her head around and scoot herself all around. One hour goes by, two hours go by. I have to pee so bad! Finally, around 3:15am she falls asleep! I am laying there with her for about 15 minutes. During those 15 minutes she doesn't move at all. I figure it is safe for me to run to the bathroom... I put pillows around her and leave the room.

I decide I am going to go to the bathroom down the short hall so that the noise doesn't wake her up. I pee, flush, wash my hands. Then I decide to blow my nose (I guess I do this rather loudly). So, I throw my tissue in the trash and all of a sudden I hear THUMP and CRYING!

I go RUNNING back into my room and there is Brett on the floor! She is in a crawling position. I pick her up. I'm shaking- who do I call? My husband? The pediatrician? My parents? I try to call my husband but he is on a plane and I get voicemail. I decide not to call my mom because I think she will overreact. I kissing Brett, telling her I"m sorry, rocking her... I am lightly squeezing different body parts to see if she cries out at all. I look into her eyes to see if her pupils are dilated. I decide I will call my pediatrician. Just as a start to dial she stops crying. She looks into my eyes and, as if to say she is ok, she smiles.

I got back into my bedroom with her and turn on the light. The pillow I had put next to her fell off the bed first so it cushioned her landing. She had narrowly missed (by inches) the end table.

Brett started crawling around, smiling, etc. She showed absolutely no signs of injury.

That was the last time she slept in bed with me when my husband was out of town...

A Tooth!

After almost 9 1/2 months I am happy to report that Brett finally had a tooth break through on Halloween night! There were two days leading up to that of pure misery. She was crying a ton. This was the first time that my husband and I did not attribute the crying to teething because we had done that ever since she was three months old! If she was tired and cranky- yep, she must be teething!

She didn't get a fever and really only had a few hours of crying a day but I do believe that it was actually caused this time by teething.

I guess I won't have to get her baby dentures after all!

This Time Last Year

I turned on my favorite cable music station today. To my surprise, it was continuous Christmas music. I was in disbelief that the holidays are right upon us and how fast this year has gone by. As I indulged in a little pre-Christmas spirit, memories of “last year” came right back to me.

This time last year, my husband and I were going in for our 20 week ultrasound to get the long awaited news- a boy or girl! I remember leaving that appointment so excited that I was having a girl. I had big plans for her.

This time last year, I remember feeling the first kicks. I kept thinking, “was that kick?”, “no, was that a kick, Brad feel!!!”

This time last year, I could no longer use the rubber band to hold my pants together. I had to move to the maternity jeans as my belly was getting pretty big.

This time last year, I really, really wanted ONE glass of wine! I would go to dinner with family and friends and watch in envy as they sipped on cocktails and I stuck to my iced tea. Only to then be the continuous designated driver.

This time last year, I remember thinking how easy pregnancy was. I was out of the first trimester and hadn’t had a taste of the painful and sleepless third trimester. I was at the gym almost every day.

This time last year, I was so excited to shop for Reagan’s nursery. I changed my mind a hundred times on color, theme etc.

This time last year, I would sift through pregnancy books and watch baby shows on a daily basis. I loved learning about the weekly developmental stages and how amazing it was that this was all taking place.

This time last year, I had ice cream every night! I needed a substitute for my glass of wine.

This time last year, I could go to the movies, go shopping, whatever I wanted to do- without worrying about feedings, naps etc. Life was so much less stressful!

This time last year, I was so excited to meet Reagan. I was very curious as to who she would look like, what would she be when she grew up and what kind of parents we would be.

Now, in a blink of an eye, my baby is 8 months old. I look back at last year and think what a wonderful journey it’s been- rough delivery, sleepless nights, marriage adjustments, and my house consumed with toys--- it’s been worth every second.

The Flu

There has been a lot of discussion surrounding the flu shots. In our home we decided that we would all get the regular flu shot (including Brett) and then if any of us got ill we would know if was H1N1. This was the plan until Friday, when we went to our 9-month pediatircian appointment.
The pediatrician recommended that all three of us get both flu shots. In fact, the doctor had the H1N1 flu mist vaccine for adults and offered it to my husband and I. We quickly agreed that we would take it to protect Brett. She got the regular flu shot and we got the mist for H1N1. No big deal, right?

Brett was out of sorts for almost two days. I am now sick! I have a sore throat and a stuff nose and my chest is congested. Apparently, these are all side effects of the flu mist. I was also told today, when I called the nurseline of my insurance company, that since I am experiencing symptoms there is a slight risk of transmitting it to those I have close contact with! Well, needless to say, I am a bit scared that Brett is foot to get sick. I've taken tylenol and am trying to avoid too close of contact with her.

Be careful with what vaccines you choose. The mist is a live version of the flu whereas the shot is a dead version. I knew this going into it but I thought I wouldn't have side effects. Hopefully my household stays healthy through this flu season and hopefully my 'side effects' leave quickly!

Good Boy!

Actually, I mean my husband :)

When he was at the gym a few days ago he picked up a copy of OC Family magazine because he noticed that the cover story was "Fatherhood." It's hilarious for me to think of him on a bike or between sets at the gym reading this, but I'm proud of him for doing it! The current October 2009 issue also has articles on protecting your family from H1N1 and on raising a good reader (other issues we're all concerned about). But the best is the cover article on Redefining Dad: how fathers are more involved than ever before and enjoying it too. It's not a long article (just a few pages) but it's great for me to see this in the media, and probably great for our involved hubbies to see they are not alone and are being celebrated for pulling double shifts (work + home) just like so many of us mommies have been doing for decades.

Go Dads!

Keeping Our Kids Safe

Last night, I fell into my couch in exhaustion. I reflected on our chaotic day, how tired I was and how much sleep I was NOT going to get that night. I sipped on some wine and turned on the television in an attempt to catch up on my favorite shows- Oprah was on.
The topic of the day was of Jaycee Dugard- the young 11 year old girl, kidnapped, held captive and abused for 18 years. Every time I read about this story, my blood boils- not only in sorrow for this young girl who had to endure years of unconscionable abuse, but also, for the mother/parents of Jaycee. I soon realized my frustrations for the night were so minuscule compared to those that this mother endured every night for those 18 years. I’m sure she would have given anything to go to bed exhausted from a day with her daughter and wake up though the night for feedings- at least she would know her daughter was alive and safe. Instead, her sleepless nights were probably consumed with prayers for her daughters’ return and wandering thoughts of where she was, who she’s with, was she alive, was she being cared for and God forbid, the worst thought of, was she being abused or hurt. As a mom, I imagine, her only wish every night was to comfort her daughter and hold her tightly.
I can’t bring myself to even imagine the thought of my daughter being kidnapped and taken from our lives. My life, as I know it, would be over. I would never be able to move past that day, and for the rest of my life I would be sick with worry about her 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I can’t imagine that I would ever I find joy in anything. Thoughts of her safety, her happiness, her well-being would play like a broken record in my mind. I then thought about the other mom’s who had to endure or are still enduring this horrible anguish- Elizabeth Smith’s mother, Natalie Holloway’s mother, Madeline McCain’s mother and countless other mothers who have lost their children. The experiences these mothers have gone though ran the worst chills up my spine.
As I finished the Oprah show, I became more pessimistic of the world around us. How could someone be so evil as to shatter the futures of these kids and place such a shadow of despair over these families for the rest of their lives? How did several of these abductions happen at the childrens’ home or with parents close by? And how do we keep our children safe- knowing we can’t shelter them forever?
The next day I went to Target with Reagan. As we moved through the aisles, I saw several employees sifting through the store quickly. They all had walkie talkies and were chanting “code yellow”. I looked back and saw one mother frantically describing her daughter to one of the employees. My heart sunk. 5 minutes later one of the employees appeared with the girl and everyone let out a sigh of relief. I was amazed at the organization and swift action this team of employees took to find this child. They dropped everything and just short of locking down the store, they swept into action. My thoughts went back to Jaycee Dugard. There were so many missed opportunities to find this girl. Had authorities and others taken the same approach as these Target employees did to find this missing girl, I do believe Jaycee would have been home a lot earlier and maybe would not have been kidnapped from the start (this man should have never been released from jail).
Moral of my story- Unfortunately, we can’t shelter our kids forever. We can do our part to educate our children about safety and strangers, but I don’t think that is enough. I strongly believe Sex offenders and child predators need to face stronger sanctions and segregation from our children. And we need more people like these Target employees, who would not give up until a child was found- safe and sound.

Destination Parking Lot

Since I had Brett I spend more time in parking lots than I ever have before (and that includes being a high schooler making out with my boyfriend).

You stop in parking lots to change a diaper or to breastfeed. Or, as it is for me as I type this, hanging out in a parking lot while the baby sleeps. I couldn't get Brett to take her morning nap today. I knew I had to be at Gymboree at 1pm so I left my house exactly at noon and at 12:04 she was asleep. So, here I sit in the parking lot until she wakes up. Her nap usually goes 45-60min so we should walk in just in time!

I know many other moms can relate to this and my husband certainly can, too. My mom and I tried to go to the mall to buy a dress for me to wear to a wedding. Brett fell asleep on the way to the mall so my mom sat in the car in the parking lot while I did a speed shopping trip.

I am rambling now, because, what else do I have to do??? 13 minutes until class starts. I hope she wakes up in time.

Date Weekend

Date weekend has now concluded and it was a success!

Knowing that Brett was going to spend the weekend with my folks, I packed up an ample amount of clothes, pajamas, etc. Because we spend so much time with my parents they already have their own supply of formula, diapers, socks, and toys. I also put together a small first-aid kit with infant Tylenol, Motrin, Mylicon, thermometer, and nose aspirator. I wrote a medical consent form and photo copied our insurance card onto the back of the letter. I wrote her birthdate and current estimated weight on a paper as well. Lastly, I wrote the amount of each kind of medicine she should receive should she need it. I felt very prepared to leave her with them and very comfortable about it!

Friday night I dropped Brett off at my parents house, picked my husband up at the airport and headed to Disneyland. We visited the Halloween Party at California Adventure and went to Disneyland to ride Space Mountain. We had a wonderful time! I only texted my family to make sure Brett went to sleep easily- and she did! We dragged our tired bodies home from Disneyland and quickly passed out when we got home. I slept a full 8-hours!

When I woke up on Saturday morning my husband was already gone- he had gone to my parents house to pick up Brett. Crazy though, she was still sleeping! She went to bed at her normal time at 7:30 and woke up at 6am. She then ate a few ounces of milk and fell back to sleep until 8am. She did GREAT! So, my husband brought her home and we all went out to breakfast. A few hours later we were packing up to leave for the wedding we were going to and took Brett back to my parents house.

We waved bye-bye to Brett and went on our way. I felt so comfortable leaving her with my parents. My husband and I checked into our hotel, got ready quickly and went off to the wedding (after a drink in the hotel bar). We had a wonderful time together dancing and drinking. In fact, I drink too much and we didn't quite get to enjoy our hotel time (if you know what I mean).

I called my parents in the morning and found that Brett had slept nearly 12 hours! She did great with them and they did great with her. My brothers even helped- so it was a whole family affair! I feel so lucky to have my family close to us and that they are so willing to help with Brett. My husband and I had a much needed weekend to ourselves.

Black Hole of Baby Socks

With colder days approaching, I’ve switched Reagan’s wardrobe from shorts and tanks to jeans, hoodies and SOCKS! In the summer, I didn’t feel it was always necessary to put socks on her since it was so warm. But with cold seasons approaching, I added them as essentials to her everyday attire. On Monday, I dressed Reagan for the day and chose her “bow socks” for our outing- She looked adorable. I loaded her in the car and we were on our way.
We arrived to our first destination and, as I opened the door, I noticed that both socks were off of her feet and nowhere to be found. “What the heck happened to your socks“, I said to myself. As I looked around I found one on the other side of the seat, which she clearly pulled off and chucked across the car. The other was still missing. As I took her out of her car seat, I found the other that was nestled under her leg (not sure how it got there). I went to grab the sock, only to find it was soaking wet! Her car seat wasn’t wet and neither were her pants so the only other conclusion was that it had spent some time in her mouth. It was so wet, that it would be counterproductive to put it back on her foot to keep her warm as the damp sock would probably had made her cold. I didn’t bring another pair of socks but I couldn’t let her go barefoot since it was so cold outside. I looked in the diaper bag, the car seat and then I looked under the seat of the car. Sure enough, I found the black hole of baby socks- only there were no pairs- only singles. Apparently my car had been swallowing down these socks for quite some time and I had been oblivious to the whole thing.
For confirmation of my assumptions- the next day, I put Reagan in the car and sat from the side to watch the black hole in action. Sure enough- sock came off, in her mouth and then on the floor. It’s probably going to be a battle I just won’t win. But, it will only be cheap socks from here on out- any nice “bow socks” will probably be the first to be consumed by the black hole of baby socks.

Sleeping

When we brought Madie home from the hospital she was a great sleeper. She would sleep in 4-6 hours stretches when most babies would only do 2. She slept in our room for the first 4.5 months in her bassinet. I remember the night we transferred her to her crib I spent half the night on the floor in her room because I thought she was going to have trouble sleeping in a new bed. She did not. She woke up her usual one time a night. Then after that, after about 2 weeks. She started sleeping through the night. She slept great through the night with out missing a beat until she was 7 months old. Then for the past month she has been up once or twice or even three times a night to eat. She won't have anything to do with rocking, and frankly I don't either at 3:30 in the morning. So I bring her back in bed with us and I nurse her until she falls asleep again and then I transfer her back to her bed. Sometimes if I am lucky she will sleep through the rest of the night. But most of the time she is up at least once more. I was so proud to tell people she was a great sleeper. Now it looks like my months of bragging have caught up with me. Every night we tell her to be a big girl and sleep through the night. It is like her way of mocking us at 8 months old. Nope not going to do it tonight guys! I love my little girl so much, but all I want for Christmas this year is my sleep back!

Travel Debate

After mulling this over with my husband and parents I have decided NOT to go to New York. It is such an internal struggle for me. So often I feel trapped (sorry to say) by motherhood and I just want to get away and go do something for myself. Then, when the situation presented itself, I couldn't bring myself to leave her. Just thinking about it made my stomach tie itself in knots. A Saturday-Tuesday trip was just too long.

So, we have decided to have a Date Weekend and leave Brett with my parents for two nights. This is a small step from the one night we left her with them, but isn't the three nights away that the NYC trip would've been. Plus, I am nearby should there be a problem (I know there won't be a problem). So, my hubby and I will be going to dropping Brett off on Friday late afternoon and picking her up on Sunday in the late morning. We will be going to Disneyland on Friday night and then a wedding on Saturday night. We are going to stay in a hotel on Saturday night so it is more of a 'getaway.'

The crazy thing is, I woke up last night and couldn't sleep. I was thinking about everything that could go wrong with Brett at my parents house. The main thing I think of is her crawling out of the sliding door and falling in the pool. I'm sure this would never actually happen but I just can't stop worrying about it.

Well, hopefully I will let myself relax enough to have an enjoyable weekend. I'm sure a glass of wine or two will help calm me down...

Travel with No Baby?

I am in a great internal debate about whether or not to take a 3 day trip to New York with my husband without Brett. We would be leaving her with my parents for 3 nights. My husband travels weekly so for him it is no big deal but I can't make up my mind! I want to go so badly but, can I leave Brett for that long? I have left her twice for overnights with my parents but 3 nights?!?!!

I have to make up my mind by tonight so any input is appreciated!

Dinner, fussiness and all

So today I thought Mike has a had a rough week at work that I would cook one of his favorite casseroles from his childhood as a surprise! I am not a cook. I can follow a recipe that my mom made a zillion times as a child, but can't just come up with something off the top of my head. While Madie was napping, or screaming in the process of going to sleep, I started browning the meat. I thought I can at least get most of it made while she sleeps and combine it when she wakes up and put her in the exersaucer. Well, her nap lasted about 15 minutes, I let her fuss some in her crib and then I went and got her. I put her in the exersaucer and immediately she starts wailing. Knowing i now had about 1 hour until Mike got home, I picked her and soothed her and then put her back in there. She walked around in the exersaucer for a bit and played. The she reached around and started pulling things off the fridge. We just barely started to childproof and were going to block off the kitchen! So needless to say she can open cupboards and pull papers off the fridge. I let her do that. By, now I am super stressed the casserole is not turning out right. Madie is ripping things, trying to pull the trash bag out of the trash can. I had just spilled tomato sauce all over the tile on the counter top. Nothing is going good. She is wailing again the kitchen looks like a bomb hit it. I look like something out of a scary movie. I am stressed out completely. I finally call Mike and beg him to be on time today and explain to him what had gone on. I am crying on the phone, and he is trying to calm me down! My mascara is running down my face. My kitchen is still a mess, my daughter is still screaming, and I am sitting here shaking my head on the computer blogging about it to all of my mommy friends thinking how I need a shot of something stiff! Today has been one of those days! Countdown till Mike gets home 15 minutes. How the hell did the housewives of the 50's do it? I can't help but be reminded of what good Ole' Jennifer told us in Gymboree always clean yourself up and the baby up before dad comes home. Well, ladies that ain't happening. What turned out to be a nice simple gesture has stressed me out completely! Oy!

Dirty Stories

Well, it seems I just can't help but share the ickiness of mommyhood.

In the last week, Brett has been spitting up- A LOT. I'm not sure why but she doesn't really seem sick. Anyhow, I was nursing her in the morning (I only nurse morning and night now) and she always unlatches and starts crawling around. I was only wearing my robe because I had just showered. She crawls up onto my tummy and BLAH - she spits up right into my belly button! Yuck!

Brett also isn't sleeping well at all. She seems to half-wake up in the middle of the night and cry. This can happen a few times a night. We, many times, bring her into bed with us so that we can get some sleep. Rubbing her back seems to help calm her down. Anyhow, she is very restless and rolls back and forth between my husband and I. She hits her head on the headboard and sometimes even lays horizontally between us. So, that is where this story goes. She is rolling around and ends up horizontally between the two of us. Her head is by my body and her feet are by my husband. My husband, the cuddly guy that he is, moves closer to her and cuddles in. It is at that moment, as her little toosh is near his head, she lets out a huge fart! My husband and I, totally sleep deprived, start hysterically laughing! But, we are doing it as quietly as possible because we don't want to wake her up. So, that was a funny, delirious, moment for us.

Last icky story, again, I'm breastfeeding Brett. This time it was the afternoon because she was fussy and needed a nap. As usual, she unlatches and sits up and then crawls up onto me. I think that maybe she is jiggling the food around to quickly after eating. Anyhow, here we go, she is now standing up and holding onto my hair and BLAH- she spits up into my hair! Yuck! So, I had to take a shower. So gross.

I'm not sure how long this spitting up will last. We have two weeks until her 9-month appointment (I know, can you believe that she is 9-months already?) so we'll get to the bottom of it hopefully.

I think it is funny that, once you are a mom, getting pooped on, farted on or puked on isn't as bad as you might have once thought it would be!

Family Night Out

When Matthew was first born we used to go out to dinner all the time. He was so easy to take places because he just slept in his car seat the WHOLE time! Then after a couple months it became more difficult making it through a meal. We’d try to time it right, but he always ended up needing to be nursed, walked around, or sleep in my arms making it difficult for me to actually eat anything. My husband and I would trade off holding him while the other one ate and we’d try to get in and out as quickly as possible! Haha, not quite the ideal way to go out to dinner. We pretty much gave up on these outings until last night when we decided to give it another try. We left the car seat in the car and decided to let Matthew try the restaurant high chair for the first time (disgusting as they are). He’s been in his high chair at home for a while now, but the wooden ones in restaurants have no support so I wasn’t sure how long he’d be able to sit up in one. Well, he did great! He loved sitting at the table with us in his own chair. He loved playing with the napkins, smiling at everyone who passed by, and banging on the tiles of the table as if they were drums. (Not loudly enough to disturb other diners I hope!) My husband and I were actually able to take our time ordering, enjoy an appetizer, and chat while he played. While we were waiting for our dinner I fed Matthew some peas and squash. Then, when our food came he entertained himself with a sippy cup while we ate and continued our non-baby related conversation! After dinner, the little guy was still going strong so we decided to get dessert. By now he was done playing by himself and wanted to join in the conversation. He just kind of babbled and smiled at us while we finished dessert. We talked to him and told him how proud we were that he was such a good boy at the restaurant. By the time we got home we were about an hour late at starting his bedtime routine, but he didn’t seem to mind the change of schedule. It was so much fun going to dinner as a family, and yet another reminder that our little boy is growing up faster than I could have ever imagined. They really do not stay little for long, but somehow each new stage just gets better and better! 

Shark Attacks

Reagan has started the "ever so endearing" what we call--shark attacks! We call these "kisses" shark attacks because they resemble the jaws of a shark taking down it's next meal.
She starts by aggressively grabbing hold of my hair and positioning my face in direct access to her mouth. What hair I have left from post pregnancy hair loss, comes out wrapped around her fingers. She then heads in for the kill, opens her mouth as wide as she can and swallows down any part of my face that will fit her her mouth (usually a chin, nose or cheek) . While in the death grip, she will take one of her hands and hook either a nostril or corner of my mouth with her fingers (this is when I realize I haven't trimmed her nails in a while because she can sometimes break skin!). By this time I am crying mercy and trying frantically to get out of the death grip/shark bite. I laugh every time at, first, how funny they are and, second, how stinkin STRONG she is!! Marking these to priceless moments with my daughter!!

Fat Jeans

Today I fit into my fat jeans! No, not the ones that were always one size too big but my actual roomy, my-(pre-pregnancy) size jeans. I'm not saying they look great. I'm not saying they feel great either. BUT THEY FIT. Hooray!

I was one of those people who always ate whatever I wanted and exercised almost every day and didn't really think much about it. I am vegetarian and a generally healthy eater, but never worried much about extra fat or calories.

Then, I became one of those pregnant women who gained one pound a week. It didn't matter what I ate. I didn't matter which trimester. I craved fresh fruit and veggies and never really wanted chocolate, cakes, or ice cream. And I still gained a pound every single week.

Now, I am one of those moms who really wants to exercise every day but has absolutely no time for it. Between working from the office, working from home, seeing family and friends, and --oh yeah!-- enjoying my 4 month old, I'm lucky if I get a shower in (and I definitely don't wash my hair more than a couple times a week). And did I mention that in spite of exercising only a couple times a week, I'm still eating whatever I want? So it is with joy indeed that I share the news that my fat jeans fit. Maybe I won't have to buy a whole new wardrobe after all. Of course, my tops are still hopeless. But exercise won't help with that....

Baby's First Trip

Last weekend, we were invited to attend a wedding in Lake Arrowhead. When we first received the invitation I immediately went through the new mom array of emotions...excitement to uncertainty to pure anxiety.

I have been a HUGE stickler for Molly's nighttime routine. During her first few months of life we struggled to get to bed by 1am, so when we finally established a structured bedtime routine (that was working fabulously), it was VERY hard for me to mix it up! Despite my reservations we RSVP'd yes for the wedding.

As the weekend approached, I tried to establish a plan on what to bring and how we would set up our hotel room so we could all try to get some sleep. Molly has always slept in her crib, she's just slept better sleeping with silence verses hearing our sleeping noises, so you can probably imagine why I was worried about suddenly sleeping in the same room. Now I do have to admit, we had our secret weapon...adjoining rooms with my parents! Now you're probably thinking, "why in the world are you worried about the trip when you have back-up!?" I know my feelings of anxiety were pretty silly, but I couldn't stop myself from worrying.

The weekend quickly approaches. The day before we are suppose to leave, I have to pick Molly up from school early because she has the stomach flu (that's a whole different blog entry =). Later that night she was 90% better so we decided to continue with our trip.

When we arrive in Lake Arrowhead, my husband & I leave Molly in the care of my parents as we venture off to the wedding. We enjoyed having our adult time while being able to see Molly every couple hours. Half way through the reception I realize that I caught the stomach flu and needed to go to bed early....I know, what a bummer!!! As I continue to have a rough night, Molly's care now fell in the hands of my dear husband. I only heard her get up a couple times throughout the night, better than I thought she would do. In the morning I come to find out that she had been up for 2-3 hours straight because she had problems breathing through her nose full of boogers (of course we forgot the saline nasal spray & aspirator).

Although we ended up having unforeseen challenges, we were glad to have made the jump to take Molly on her first trip! Hopefully next time we can enjoy our time together while staying healthy and rested =)!

Here's to another first as a new mom!

Appetite Changes

Brett was exclusively breast fed for the first 6-months of her life. Around 5-months old I had a reduction in my milk supply (see previous posts). I tried multiple things to increase it and it was the introduction a beer a night that seemed to help (I'm serious).

Throughout my breast feeding I found myself to be STARVING constantly. I had to be eating something almost every hour. If I went more than two hours or so without eating I would start to feel weak, my hands would shake and I could even get to the point of being dizzy. I could out-eat my 6'3" 230 pound husband! My brothers teased me about how many tacos I could eat in a sitting. I would rarely feel 'full' even after eating a ton of food. As crazy as it sounds, I was also continuing to lose weight and was down to my pre-pregnancy weight!

At 6-months I gave Brett cereal and then slowly introduced other solids into her diet. This change to her diet resulted in changes to her poop. It became firmer. She was getting two solid food meals a day. I remained hungry at all times.

Around 7-months I decided to introduce formula. I did this because Brett was basically weening herself. She wouldn't stay latched on to my breast for longer than a minute (no exaggeration). It became frustrating for me and she wasn't eating enough during the day. So, that is why the bottle came into play. I started with 3/4 breast milk and 1/4 formula, then moved to 1/2 formula and 1/2 breast milk until it was completely formula.

Now, as Brett is 8-months old she is nursing in the morning when she wakes up and right before bed. Sometimes I nurse her in order for her to take a nap in the afternoon.

As this change with her eating habits has occurred my eating habits have changed as well. I realized one day that I hadn't eaten anything since breakfast and was only slightly hungry! When I am eating now I am able to eat much less than before. I actually get full rather quickly now. Some of my friends that have breast fed in the past have said that they have gained back about 10 lbs after they stop breast feeding so I'm hoping that doesn't happen to me.

Sounds like it time to watch what I eat again. Bummer...

Kisses

On Friday night I developed a lovely, large, cold sore on my lower lip. I haven't had one since I was about 7 months pregnant so it has been over a year. Why am I sharing this with everyone? Well, because I will not give Brett kisses right now because I don't want her to get coldsores. I also won't let her give me the open-mouth kisses that she gives me on a daily basis.

I didn't think this would be a big deal but it wasn't until now that I realized just how many times I kiss her throughout the day! It is so hard not to give her kisses!

I can't wait for this coldsore to go away so that I am able to kiss my little girl as much as I want to. Enjoy kissing your babies!

Shrinking boobs

I am happy to report that I have on a shirt today that I have not worn since pre-pregnancy. I have tried many times this summer to get it on, and it as only resulted in what I call a clothes tantrum. This morning I realized that my milk supply is going down because Madie is eating more and more solid food. With that comes the good news of my boobs shrinking and old favorite clothes fitting once again. But it also makes me sad. I have truly loved nursing Madie and the closeness we have because of it. It is a bond between me and her that no one else has. All the people weren't joking when they said enjoy your time with them when they are small because they aren't small for long. It's like a blink of an eye, and suddenly she is almost 8 months old. She is not solely dependent on me for food, she eats food now. Where as before I was loving each new thing she did. I could not wait for her to get older and learn new things. Soddenly, I want it all to stop and to keep her little for longer. I don't want to give up that time between her and I. But I know deep down that I will have to and to prepare myself for when she turns one in a little over 4 months and I stop nursing her and she continues to grow up!

Tranquility at 4:00 a.m.

At 3:30am this morning Reagan did her usual “mom get up and feed me”. After she finished her bottle and fell asleep, I laid back in my bed. I also wanted to go right back to sleep. However, today, I changed my mind. Lately I’ve been trying to figure out a way to drop these 10 extra pregnancy pounds so I, somehow, motive myself to go to the gym- at 4:00am! It sounded very painful at the time and, quite frankly, insane. But it turned out to be complete serenity and a serious battery charger.
My workout at the gym was great, refreshing, energizing, etc, etc, etc- but it was the time I got to myself upon returning home that was awesome! I walked into the house- SILENCE!!!!! Everyone was still asleep. I took my shoes off- went into the kitchen and made myself breakfast- uninterrupted. I sat at the dining table and, as I ate my breakfast, I thought I’d turn on some tunes. I enjoyed my breakfast with the likes of Simon and Garfunkel, Neil Diamond, the Beatles, Lionel Richie and other classics. Expecting my time was going to be up soon, I looked at the clock, only to find I likely had a whole 45 minutes left!
I moved to the couch and turned on the television. No Barney and Friends, no Special Agent Oso… no football, no car repair shows that usually take over my television. This morning---- it was all about my long overdue Greys Anatomy episodes! Rerun- but that’s ok- so I moved to some magazine time and dove into some Parenting magazines I received from the group exchange last week. It didn’t matter what I read, but more, that I could take my time and just enjoy!
Well, it wasn’t going to last forever-at 7:00 am the family came down and our day began. Back to rushed meals, 2 minutes showers, on-call mom, preparing lunches, tackling a to-do list (with high hopes of getting at least 2 tasks done), walking dog, laundry etc, etc. But those special three hours were mine/just for me—and so worth the pain of getting up before the sun came up.
I can’t promise I will do it again tomorrow, because right now, I am exhausted from being awake for 18 hours. But I will be doing this on a more frequent basis- for my sanity and in efforts to, once and for all, loose these preggers lbs.

Poop

Where else but on a Mom's blog can I post about poop! So this morning, Madie was playing in her exersaucer! We had decided not to go on the walk this morning because she had a rough night! She is no longer sleeping through the night and it's been the roughest on me I think! So she was entertaining herself as she does now quite nicely! As I of course checked my email, and played on the computer! I picked her up out of the exersaucer, and to my surprise she was really wet. I looked down thinking it was pee and it was not. It was poop! When I picked her up I noticed it was down her leg all over the exersaucer, on the floor now and all over me. I had one of those OMG moments thinking to myself what do I do? Then I thought why does she do this when Mike is at work and I have no one to help me. So i put her on her changing table and took off the diaper and the onesie and realized it was worse than I thought! She had it up her stomach and her back to. So I ended up bathing her and myself, and starting yet another load of laundry. I had to chuckle to myself as that has to be in the top 5 of all the ones she has ever done! Nothing beats the time at Disneyland all over Mike! So I have scrubbed at the exersaucer seat and hopes that when Mike gets home he can figure out how to get the seat off so it to can be cleaned. Oh what a morning!

Horror Movie Moment

The other night I woke up around 2:30am to go to the bathroom. I am always so mad when I wake up if Brett is sleeping through. So, I'm laying there in bed about to go back to sleep and, from the monitor right next to my head (sitting on the table) I hear a frightening thing.

The words "Peek a-boo I see you" comes through the monitor in an adult sing-songy voice. My heart begins to pound. I'm laying there perfectly still wondering if I had just had a weird dream. My husband is sound asleep next to me and clearly hadn't heard anything. Was I hearing things?

A few more seconds go by and, again, "Peek a-boo I see you" comes through the monitor! I'm thinking, is there a person in there with a toy trying to entertain my daughter? Is there a ghost in there activating something? I had obviously watched one too many Ghosthunter episodes as a dozen strange explanations run through my head.

I got out of bed and began to creep towards Brett's bedroom. I peek in to see that no one is in there. I do see, however, that she is squirming in her bed. One more time, the "Peek a-boo I see you" words are spoken. I see that she has wiggled her way to the top of her crib and her head is pressing against a mirror that I have hanging in her bed! I had NO idea that it made any noise what-so-ever, but it obviously 'speaks' when it is pressed.

I was up for almost two hours from adrenaline! I took the mirror out of the crib that night and it is going in the donation pile. My next baby will have a different mirror in his or her bed!

Quick Thinking Mommy

I'm sitting here at home enjoying a beer (to help with my milk production, obviously) while my husband is at a business dinner and Brett is fast asleep and I thought I had to share this story that I thought was proof of how a mom can think so quick-on-her-feet!

I had a meeting for the Tinkerbell Guild tonight. The Guild is a volunteer organization of women committed to raising funds to support the growth and development of Children's Hospital Orange County and CHOC at Mission. Check it out at: http://www.tinkerbellguild.com/

Anyhow, I had to bring Brett with me because, as I stated above, my husband had a last minute business dinner come up and my other babysitters (Grandma and Grandpa) were busy. So, Brett did a great job 'entertaining' the group of girls as she crawled, pulled herself up, babbled, etc.

At the end of the meeting I was talking to another mom when Brett spit-up a nice, chunky spit-up that went down her dress, on my shirt and onto the tile floor. I'm looking from her, to me, to the floor, to my purse... I had only brought in my purse, which was loaded with the essentials for a one-hour meeting: rattle, teether, bottle. I had not, of course, brought a burp cloth!

So, in the quick thinking way that only moms can think- I reached down my tank top, pulled out a breast pad and wiped off my top, Brett's dress and then the floor! I walked over to the garbage bin and threw it away. Done and done!

It's amazing what we come up with...

Sick or Teething

Yes, another teething post. This seems to be a common dilemma that new moms face. The signs can be very drastic or non-existent.

A week and a half ago Brett was pulling on her ears so I took her to the doctor. The doctor said that one ear had slight congestion that is associated with teething. Ok, great. So we went home and thought, at 7 1/2 months she is finally starting to teeth.

However, other than the ear pulling there weren't many other indicators- until this week!

Brett continued to pull on her ears. She also has been waking up at least once a night, when typically she sleeps at least 10 hours. Finally, Monday afternoon she got a very runny nose. I knew she wasn't sick because the snot was clear. She became very fussy. She is also drooling like crazy! I actually got her ready for bed early and she went down at 7pm. Not only that, she slept 12 hours! She got up the next morning and, even though she had a runny nose, she seemed quite happy. I decided it was safe to take her to a Baby Safety class that I had already committed to. She did great at the class but had a major meltdown on the drive home.

I was intending to go to lunch with my Aunt Mary but it became clear that Brett was going to be in no mood for going out. This is one of those times that I feel fortunate to have family around. I was able to call my aunt and ask her to swing by and pick up baby Motrin. I called the doctor and he said that I could alternate giving Brett Tylenol and Motrin to help with the teething pain.

I started with Tylenol and that seemed to help so I waited on the Motrin until this morning. Unfortunately, I tried to give the Motrin to her this morning and she spit it out! Oh well, her runny nose is gone today but she is still drooling a ton and chewing on everything (mostly her fingers).

While I am still not sure if she has a slight cold or is teething or maybe both I am fairly confident she isn't 'sick.' I'm just hoping she gets teeth before it's time to send her to school!

New Life As a Mom

My daughter joined our family 6 months ago (actually 16 counting pregnancy). Every day I look at her, and appreciate what a miracle and blessing she is and what joy and happiness she has brought to our lives- I can’t imagine my life without her. Being a mom is such a rewarding experience but I never really grasped the full concept that MY life, as it was, was going to change forever. And boy did I get a reality check when Reagan was born. My life was flipped upside down, backwards, sideways….every which way.
I am (or rather, I was) a big scheduler. I live by lists, day planners and appointment times. I am (was) prompt to every meeting and always fulfilled commitments I made. As you fellow moms can relate, scheduling is out the window with a newborn/infant and your daily schedule revolves around naps, feedings, fussiness and exhaustion.
Before I was pregnant, my husband and I were spontaneous travelers and loved to take last minute adventures to the south pacific, ski weekends and finding desolate, untraveled locations. For some crazy reason, I though having a baby would just mean one more person to take along on our adventures. But when we learned we couldn’t take Reagan in the car for more than 10 minutes without her screaming hysterically, a flight anywhere was out of the question.
My girlfriends and I always made sure to schedule a few weekenders together to Palm Springs, Las Vegas, anywhere we could get away and just be girls. I’ve tried a few overnighters since having Reagan, only to find I’m so worried about her at home or feel guilty about leaving her that these weekends of de-stress are MORE stress for me.
For the first few months of Reagan’s life, I couldn’t wait to get back to our normal life. However, normal has changed for us- for the better. Watching my daughter learn something new or laugh hysterically at her dog are priceless moments compared to an adventurous vacation. Feeding Reagan a new food for the first time and watching the expression on her face as she tastes it is so much more exciting than sitting in some swanky restaurant ordering overpriced steaks. And, hanging out with my daughter, watching “Special Agent Oso” and “Barney and Friends “, watching her eyes light up at her favorite characters beats a trip to Las Vegas any day. Don’t get me wrong, I still need a little R&R (adult time) here and there, but I no longer wish for my old life back. I now only wish I could stop time and have this time with daughter forever. I know it’s going to go fast.

Little Miss Personality

Brett has certainly been showing more of her own personality lately. We knew almost from the time she was born that she was going to have a firey personality. In fact, she was an extremely active baby in the womb, so we should've gotten our first indication then. Now that her hair is growing in quite red, we see that her hair and personality will match.

On Sunday Brett decided, after almost two months, that she did not like green foods. She first would begin blowing raspberries when the food was in her mouth. Then she decided to keep her mouth closed and not even accept a bite at all. If we could sneak in another bite it was blown right back out. Talk about a mess! We couldn't help but laugh though.

She was fussing the other day so I tried a variety of things to make her happy. First, a pacifier to chew on (she has never sucked on a pacifier). She waved her hands up and down with a frown on her face telling me that is NOT what she wanted. So, I walked over and got a sippy cup. Again, waving hands, frown, no go. Third attempt, I pull out a bottle- same routine. Hmmm, what will make this little one happy? I went to the freezer and pulled out a frozen teething ring. Aaah, a smile and she grabbed it out of my hand and shoved it in her mouth. Four tries ain't bad...

Yesterday, she decided that as she was crawling she would pick things up with her mouth. First, her pacifier, next clean laundry that I was folding on the bed. She liked putting the socks in her mouth and crawling around with them hanging out. I'm not sure where she got this from. She has only seen a dog once!

Well, we can't wait to see her personality continue to unfold. As I tell the moms with the really new babies, it just keeps getting more and more fun!

Moms Day Off

Today my husband decided to give me the day off!!! He likes spending time with our daughter on his own and he was sick of hearing me complain that I never get time to myself (and he does get time to himself when he golfs). I'm not sure what the split was but I'm so happy to have had the day.

It's funny, though. I have all of these hours to myself and I didn't spend the entire time on "me." It's almost impossible to do.

6:30am- Brett wakes up, my husbands gets her, changes her diaper and brings her to me to breastfeed
7:30am- pumped because Brett was too distracted, as usual, to breastfeed. I pumped 4 ounces and put it in a bottle- WENT BACK TO SLEEP!
10am- woke up to find Brett in the middle of her morning nap and my husband watching football. Wonderful!
10:30am- Brett wakes from her nap and I breastfeed her. I am also now realizing I am getting a nasty clogged duct on my right side. ouch.
10:45am- I take a LONG shower (I know there is a draught but I think I make up for it with my usual 5 minute showers)
11:00am- out of the shower, helping the husband pack up to take Brett out. He is going to go buy new running shoes and then take her to Gymboree. I'm a bit nervous about this but I get over it quickly.
11:15am- Say 'bye bye' to my baby and get ready for the day. I actually am able to put on make-up and blow dry my hair! I also decide to strip the bed and throw the sheets in the wash and put all of the dishes in the dishwasher to start it
11;45am- arrive at nail salon for my eyebrow wax and pedicure! I didn't feel rushed at all and enjoyed my hour and a half there
12:15pm- run errand to ship off a gift to a girlfriend who just had her second daughter
12:45pm- arrive home. move the the sheets to the dryer and start a load of towels. Unload the dishwasher. Ate Top Ramen for lunch- I really don't know why it sounded good, but it did, and it was easy to prepare and clean. I also did the People Magazine crossword puzzle while I ate. I didn't turn on the tv or any music- I just enjoyed the peace and quiet while I did this.
2:00pm- blogging and waiting for my husband and baby to arrive back home!

So, sorry if this was too boring but I wanted to show that even when a stay-at-home mom takes a day off it is nearly impossible to not take advantage of the time to do some things around the house. They still haven't returned yet so I am going to go pick-up toys!