When I look at my 9 month old son, I am amazed by the beauty of his view of the world. He smiles at everyone he meets, laughs when he sees a light turn on and squeals for joy the second I open the front door to take him outside. He wakes up every morning with a huge smile on his face, all ready to start his day. He gets so excited whenever I read him his favorite book, and I love to watch him stare in awe at all the bright colors and pictures on each page. He loves to give high fives, hugs and kisses. He is absolutely fascinated by the world around him. Owen is so full of life, always smiling at everything and everyone he sees. In Owen's eyes, he is surrounded by this perfect world where everyone is equal. His view of life is such an inspiration to me, and a daily reminder of what life is really all about.
I love to look at the world through Owen's eyes...there is so much happiness, peace, equality, love, joy and laughter. I stay at home with him full time, so most of our days are spent playing, laughing, reading, singing, and taking walks around the neighborhood. Then, when I take Owen out in public, the harsh reality of the not-so-perfect world around us sets in. Being only 9 months old, it is unfortunate that he is already surrounded by a world of judgment, comparisons and criticism. I must say that the biggest shock of motherhood to me has been learning just how judgmental people can be of a little baby, and I've struggled with trying to not let these judgments bother me.
Owen happens to be tall for his age, which didn't come as a surprise since my husband and I are both tall, so naturally Owen will be tall as well. Because of his height, from the time he was just three months old, I have endured many hurtful, unwanted comments about Owen on a regular basis from both acquaintances and strangers alike. As a mother, there is nothing more heartbreaking than to have to listen to people criticize my baby. Whenever anyone tells me that Owen is too big for his age...he is huge...he is the biggest baby in the world...he is a giant...he is so big he will grow up to be a monster...I need to stop feeding him, or asks me "When he is going to stop growing," or "What on earth are you feeding him," I struggle to fight back the tears. Then I always end up breaking down and crying to my husband later on, once I am back at home.
Owen is the light of my life, and I am so incredibly blessed to have a perfectly healthy, happy baby who is thriving...there is no greater blessing than that. I've tried for many months to not let what other people say about Owen bother me, but the truth is, my heart continues to break every single time. The more he grows, the more remarks I receive on how he is just "too big," so there are some days when I just never ever want to leave the house again, in order to avoid it all. I'm sure the people making these comments don't mean any harm, but it upsets me a great deal, nonetheless. I've tried to grow a thicker skin and brush these comments aside, but that's easier said than done. When the critical comments are sometimes being thrown from left and right, it's extremely difficult to not be affected by it. The hardest part is seeing Owen with a huge smile on his face as a person is making one of these hurtful remarks. It's just so sad for me to see that Owen is already surrounded by so much judgment and criticism, yet in his eyes, everyone is equal.
If only everyone could take the time to put the judgment aside, stop comparing how we and our children measure up to one another and view the world the way our children do...what a perfect world it would be if we could all see the world through the eyes of a child.